First of all, INFJs are not the only ones who dislike criticism. Valid criticism doesn’t define your self-worth. Both types experience high sensitivity to any sort of criticism—whether it’s constructive or not—and both also often write slowly. Rupali Grover is an introvert and an HSP, who grew up in an extroverted Indian household. But before I share how I do it, let’s understand why INFJs are so sensitive to criticism. We feel criticism profoundly. And it’s not just him. For example, a narcissist might accuse you of being a bad friend when they were the one who treated you poorly. How to Be More Self-Compassionate and Kind to Yourself? We also pick up on the person’s facial expression, the tone of their voice, their body language, eye contact, and etc. We’re also good with words in general. Once a student asked me, “Should I start a blog? 4. This cuts down unnecessary conflicts and regrets that you might experience later. (This article was published at IntrovertDear.com. They will just be throwing rocks at emptiness. With regards to getting analysis, an INFJ may require the space to consider what somebody said and why they said it. feminism, or inequality to be our causes in … 3. Saying, “I will try harder next time,” or “Thanks for letting me know. You will be easily offended or hurt by everything that people say. Listening to these criticisms feel invalidating to INFJs because we operate mostly from our Ni function. INFPs try to be aware of their own actions, especially when it comes to the things that matter. They are not talking about you as a person. Being criticized means that we have failed in that aspect. For me, someone in my life stopped criticizing me once their life became happier and calmer. It’s constantly forming opinions and conclusions about things. Why It’s Important to Be Patient and Trust Life? Each personality from free MBTI assessment has four dominant traits, i.e., functions that determine a person’s preferences, interactions with the world, strengths, and weaknesses. INFJs tend to be perfectionists, but unhealthy INFJs take this to a … 6. Sensitive. However, that’s not my style of writing, so I directed the person to other depression books that are more technical and have a literary tone. However, INFJs are indeed more sensitive to criticism than most others. 9. When someone criticizes you, you must understand the intention of the critic. Or maybe you feel a cold pang around your chest as though your heart is sinking. She's also a licensed clinical professional counselor and an active contributor for BrownGirl Magazine. So today we're going to talk about this in detail and the strategies I use and that I teach my clients to overcome this dilemma. Are you an INFJ who is sensitive to criticisms? Some people might have the good intention of helping you but they might think that giving feedback is about being critical. Their criticism might make you feel uncomfortable but don’t interpret that as a personal flaw or rejection. Being sensitive to criticism is a part of who you are, and you can learn how to manage it. It’s easy to second-guess yourself, especially when you’re aware that you think differently from other people. Everything he says sounds like an accusation: “You are too soft! Their way of reacting to criticism is by proving that they are right. However, INFJs are also quite sensitive to criticism and conflict, which the ENTJ sees as a normal part of life, so obviously some adjustments will have … However, if you are able to hold your identity and ego lightly like air, the rocks that are thrown at you will pass through you without hurting you. My idea of fun is working alone on a meaningful project for hours. The difference is how we react to it. 4. It’s like you are making a romantic movie and the other person wants to watch a horror movie. What’s important to realize is that toxic people can project their personality flaws onto you, misleading you to believe that you are the one with the problem. Your partner notices that you’re having a hard time sticking to your budget. You’ll definitely be judged when you share your writing in the public regardless if your work is good or bad.”. Your boss notices you spacing out at a meeting. Don’t beat yourself up for needing to think over critical comments more than some other personality types. ‎Show The INFJ Whisperer, Ep Are You Sensitive To Criticism, INFJs? How to Deal with Controlling People in Your Life, “I can’t hear you well or receive your criticism well when you use such words or when you raise your voice.”, “Telling me that my work sucks or is not good enough doesn’t help me at all. A long-winded explanation isn’t needed to smooth things out. Although INFJ and INFP writers are both intuitive, and also emotionally sensitive and highly creative, they tend to approach the creative process of writing differently. But how do you actually do it? How Each MBTI Type Responds To Criticism INFJ. So why not focus on the 99% that do love what you do instead of the 1% who hates your guts? Maybe INFJ’s are better at finding ways to present criticisms of others because we are so sensitive to them ourselves? nature of the experiment / lauren rushing, Next Post: How to Break Codependency Habits and Stop Being Codependent, Am I an INFJ? When you stop judging yourself as good or bad, people’s criticisms of you don’t really matter that much anymore. Sensitive to criticism? 7. When people throw rocks at your ego, you can hold on tightly to your identity and protect or defend your position. Or do they truly want to help you? As much as I am adamant about what I want to do, there is also a part of me that wants my parents’ approval and disregard my own desire. The Advocate personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but they nonetheless leave their mark on the world. INFJs are very private individuals. If they use harsh language and it makes the receiver emotional, it reduces the receiver’s ability to hear their feedback. Do you think I’ll be judged?”. Even if the other person is not saying anything about you, you will take it personally. Taking things with a grain of salt is good advice, but are you an INFJ who has a hard time doing that? We can’t be perfect in everyone’s eyes. We don’t have to grow a stronger heart or thicker skin or be like the other personality types. It’s about them. But we are more than our MBTI type, Enneagram type, gender, nationality, occupation, the work we do, and etc, right? To get criticize for our intuitive knowing (our most natural way of functioning), it doesn’t feel good to our sense of self. Pay attention to how your body or mind wants to react to the criticism. Not all criticism is helpful even when they are well-intended and delivered properly. INFJs are naturally attentive to what people say and do, has attracted toxic people and narcissists, to talk to a few people in your support system, 10 Secrets of the INFJ, the Rarest Personality Type, 21 Signs That You’re an INFJ, the Rarest Personality Type, 3 Reasons INFJ Empaths Fall Prey to Narcissists, 12 Things INFJs Absolutely Need to Be Happy, A Delightfully Accurate Valentine From Each Introverted Myers-Briggs Type, What Not to Do When Dating Each Introverted Myers-Briggs Type, 6 Mindset Shifts for Introverts That Bolster Inner Peace, 21 Signs You're an INFJ, the Rarest Personality Type, 10 Secrets of the INFJ, the Rarest Personality Type in the World, If You Relate to These 10 Signs, You're Probably an 'Extroverted' Introvert, Why So Syncd Is the Ultimate Dating App for Introverts, Introvert/Extrovert Test {Fast Easy Quiz}. Even though 99% of the comments I received are positive and I’m grateful for them, there’s still that 1% that disapproves of me and my work. INFJs Pick Up on Subtle Tones and Signals Easily. For example, I received criticism for my memoir, The Emotional Gift, saying that the book is not scientifically-research and not good literature. It depends on the receiver. If you and the important people in your life think that the criticism you get is accurate, see below. Are you an INFJ who has attracted toxic people and narcissists? INFJ is one of the 16 personalities found in MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator).It is said to be the rarest MBTI type, about 1-2 percent of the population. That’s why INFJs are so sensitive to criticism. You can see this being reflected in their writing as well. The letters INFJ stand for the aspects of personality: Introverted (I): Individual, thoughtful, pensive, reflective, reserved Intuitive (N): Perceptive, pioneering, creative, instinctive Feeling (F): Caring, warm, honest, empathic,… Since we don’t feel the need to share everything about ourselves, a critical person is looking at a small snapshot of what they see. It is more likely that they will choose to retreat from a negative situation to lick their wounds and to process the situation. ISFJs are more likely to take criticism and keep their frustration to themselves, rather than risk the conflict involved in addressing the problems. But you want to be aware of how you feel too so that you know how the criticism is affecting you and your actions. So it’s not a personal flaw that INFJs have. But that just makes you a part of their war. As feeling types, ISFJs tend to be sensitive to criticism and scrutiny from others. People aren’t just criticizing our work, they are also discrediting the time, effort, and energy we put into perfecting our work. 3. Do you experience shame, anxiety, depression, anger, or become defensive when someone criticizes you? But somehow, I managed to continue writing and not get discouraged by them. I wrote the post to help me sort out my decision to quit. They think that I’m attacking them and the animation industry, but that’s not the case. Having empathy also means that we care about what others say, even if we are confident in our abilities and who we are. In his mind, I’m crazy to have left my accounting job. This is tall, that is short. They called me an idiot and dissed me for wanting to be a writer. Whenever I receive a comment, the first thing I would do is to pause. Our ego gets injured when other people have opinions that oppose our belief system. We are very passionate when it comes to our ideas. Most of the time, when INFJs talk to others, our attention naturally flows to the other person and how they feel because of our Fe. Sensitive to criticism and confrontation – the infamous INFJ door slam can be provoked by questioning and criticizing INFJs principles and values. To prevent being criticized by others, we INFJs criticize ourselves first. I’m hyper-sensitive to criticism. After writing for 5 years, I have learned how to handle and manage criticism better despite being a sensitive INFJs. This external desire to create harmony causes internal conflict. 2. They’re also extr… If their intention is not to help but to hurt you, then forget about what they say. Demanding – When put in leading positions, they can have extremely high expectations from themselves and others. Do You Get Upset By Feedback? (Part 2): The Difference Between INFJ and INTJ, Am I an INFJ? The INFJ may act differently with different people, but not because they have no personality. When INFJs are criticized, we don’t only hear the words. There will be times when you need to listen to the negative feedback that you get because it can help you grow. Revisit the Criticism You’ve located your boundaries and you’re holding them in place. (Part 1): The Difference Between INFJ and INFP, Am I an INFJ? Ask INFJs. 3. Knowing the intention of the critic helps me to not take the criticism personally. Not all criticism you receive is valid. So we're gonna look into: Is something constructive criticism or is it actually that you're being bullied and you think you have to take it because you think you're sensitive. People criticize based on their own projections and assumptions. They are incurably perfectionistic. Perhaps you feel that your ego is shrinking and you want to defend yourself. Take a free personality assessment.). For example, I have an autistic student. And when people criticize your work, they are talking about your work. So take yourself less seriously. Most of the time, their criticism is not about you. The INFJ personality distinguishes two subtypes, INFJ- A (Assertive) and INFJ-T (Turbulent). When giving feedback to INFJs, include encouraging compliments alongside constructive criticism. Nowadays, when I notice that people are venting, I just ignore and don’t pay any attention to their comments. (Part 4): The Difference Between INFJ and ENFJ, Am I an INFJ? Constant criticism from a  toxic personality will impact any self-assured person’s self-esteem over time. This article may contain affiliate links. You almost have to train others how to treat you nicely. Ask for a second, third, or fourth opinion. It’s challenging for any person to accept criticism, not only INFJs. INFJ personality type are sensitive to criticism and conflict. Disagreeing with criticism can be especially hard for INFJs because we value harmony. If you ever come across an article that criticizes INFJ, there’s no need to get defensive. At the end of the day, you know who you are — regardless of what people say. The most popular advice to deal with and manage criticism is to not take things personally. How to Take Care of Yourself When You Have No Time for Life? If you’re not sure how to respond to critical feedback, a simple response will work. Most personality types (if not all) don’t like to be criticized. 1. Hold your identity lightly and no one can hurt you. (Part 5): The Difference Between INFJ and INTP. Perfectionist. Positive commendations cause us to feel achieved, though analysis may prompt sentiments of uselessness. Are they just showing off how much they know and how right they are? Our dominant function, introverted intuition (Ni), is something we trust and identify the most with but not something that other types can understand easily. Website Designed by Nerdy Creator. When someone criticizes our work, it’s devastating to us because being perfectionists, we have already gone through rounds and rounds of internal editing before we have the courage to share our work. CLICK HERE to read it.). 1-on-1 Coaching http://bit.ly/wenzescoaching INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today we're asking the question: Are INFJ sensitive to criticism? Is anyone else more sensitive to criticism by strangers rather than their loved ones? Ask for a second, third, or fourth opinion. They tend to keep their emotions to themselves, finding it hard to … But I did extract something valuable out of the criticism. Not necessarily. Being mindful provides you space between the criticism and your reaction so that you can choose your words and action with intent rather than react unconsciously. In most cases, they are their own worst critic- so they really do not need to hear it from their loved ones. Moreover, everyone has different opinions about you and your work. They aren’t the most expressive of their emotions but see the utmost importance in honouring their commitments to their partners. These criticisms come in the form of: Whenever I received criticism like the above, my heart sank a little. hide. Their comments and behavior towards you may not always have anything to do with you. There’s bound to be criticism. One person might love your work while the other person might hate it for the same reason. I laughed out loud and explained, “I’m just telling the truth. INFJs can accept feedback as long it is presented in a kind and considerate manner. The acronym, INFJ, stands for Introversion (I), Intuition (N), Feeling (F), and Judging (J). As a result, they’ll usually create a work culture that’s warm and flexible, with enough structures and rules to keep things running smoothing. INFJs Have a Tendency to Be Perfect and People-Please. Furthermore, due to our extraverted feeling (Fe) function, INFJs have a desire to please others and meet their expectations. 2. This is good, that is bad, and etc. What Is INFJ? So most of us choose not to share our insights or deepest thoughts with random people. If you’re an INFJ (or other sensitive introvert type), here are four things to keep in mind when you receive comments that sting. Some people have this false belief that the harsher their criticism is, the more helpful they are. Many times, when people criticize me, I feel uncomfortable because I feel a need to do what they ask of me even though deep down inside, I know I don’t want to. Taking criticism personally isn’t something that you have to suffer through and dwell on. Use your own discretion instead and follow your heart. INFJs try to avoid conflict and are highly sensitive to criticism. To learn more about how to not take things personally, I recommend reading the book, The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. If you keep shifting yourself to please others, you will lose yourself and your personal style in the process. Do you feel judged even when the criticism is constructive? You haven’t been taking care of your physical health as well as you should. Positive compliments make us feel accomplished, whereas criticism might lead to feelings of worthlessness. 9. 11. As an INFJ, I hate it when I am criticise for something I did, or for my attitude towards various things. To overcompensate for the perceived weakness, the INFJ will instead adopt perfectionist habits of over-checking their work or spending too much time on something small and insignificant until they get it “just right.” For this reason, INFJs can also be sensitive to criticism as it relates to their lack of spatial awareness. Since INFJs tend to skirt conflict whenever possible, walking on eggshells can become even more amplified in the dynamic with a toxic partner. Most INFJs — myself included — are prone to take feedback personally. Then, your critics will have no one to fight with. With conscious work to overcome this, though, ISFJs can learn to stand up for themselves in a confident, kind way. And while you can say that Hitler is too, INFJs rarely respond with direct aggression when given criticism. In language, we say that we are INFJs. 8. INFJ Personality – An In-depth Review Affectionally referred to as the ‘Counselor,' the INFJ personality type is the rarest on the planet. 2. Of course, text criticism is easier to deal with than verbal criticism. Of course, it doesn’t match! Pause and be present.. Because they are talking about their experience with the INFJs they know, they are not talking about you. Without hesitation, I blurted out, “Yes, you will be judged.” And the student stared at me like I’m the most discouraging teacher ever. For INFP, criticism can cut through their soul like an axe through a birthday cake. I just simply removed the blog post. This is basically how I train my parents to talk to me. INFJs have this extraverted feeling (Fe) gift which allows us to have a good sense of other people’s moods. Advocate (INFJ) Weaknesses Sensitive to Criticism – When someone challenges their principles or values, Advocates may react strongly. How to Know When You or Your Loved Ones Are Depressed? I know the critics had misinterpreted what I had written because they held on too strongly to their identities as animators. Some of my ex-manager and ex-colleague also told me that I don’t know how to think about the future or ask me when I would settle down and have a stable job. If you know your critic is wrong, it’s acceptable to disagree with them. Sometimes, it’s because we didn’t organize our thoughts coherently in a way that is easy for others to understand. The human mind loves to judge. We can’t avoid judgment, especially when we share our work publicly. 5 Reasons Why Self-Care Is Not Selfish. But people who genuinely care about you will make the effort to change how they communicate with you.