He doesn’t look too good.”. What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse? Like. 57 Giraffe Jokes And Puns Perfect For One Long, Long Laugh. Funny horse jokes. The bartender says, “You’re in here pretty often. A horse limps into a bar one day. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean horse snout dad jokes. At the moment we are still adding jokes, so the offer is still limited, but that will change soon. Horse in cocktail bar joke. You see, the joke is about Descartes’ famous philosophy of ‘I think; therefore, I am”, but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse. Here are the funniest animal jokes and puns for kids, including cow jokes, horse jokes, dog jokes, cat jokes, fish jokes, and more. He doesn’t look too good.”, The guy said, “He looks just fine. How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday? Best Horse Puns and Horse Jokes 1. Horse Puns List. The next day he returned to the farm, hopping mad. Some people might consider them lame; others just don't get them at all. Sneakers. He goes back in and says to the barman: “This alright?”. Right now, during the quarantines and corona crisis, it's where almost ALL our life takes place. Zebra Jokes. “Help, I’ve fallen, and I can’t giddy up!”. What type of apartment does a pun live in? Cow Jokes. We’re not trying to stirrup trouble, but we reckon these are the best horse jokes and puns you’ll find. If you like horses, puns, and laughing at bad jokes, then this one is for you. Chicken Jokes. But then he’s struck on the head by a bottle of sherry and a Christmas pudding. No, not a single tail of whoa; only the most hilarious horse jokes you could wish for. A horse. What’s the quickest way to mail a little horse? If you know of any puns about horses that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! I’ve had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong.”, The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, “It’s okay, it’s nothing serious; you’re just a little horse.”. He asks the barman where the toilets are. Our house is where a big chunk of our life takes place. These jokes are a total shoe-in for getting the best laughs – and include puns – just beware of wearing them out. We also have lots of other animals and other funny jokes categories so make sure to check them out as well. Those spindly legs and long, outstretched necks just lend them to a world of teasing. Suddenly he’s hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages. But, there are certain things that you might want to know about knee jokes. Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? Actually it’s probably more of a knight mare. So the guy bought the horse and took him home. It's pasture bed time! What do you call a horse that lives next door? A guy was driving past a farm one day when he noticed a beautiful horse stood in one of the fields. What type of horse can jump higher than a house? A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. You can use these for fun or as your post on Facebook. I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor. Because it was covered in horsehide. Pun Puns. I would have died if it weren’t for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” says the first. Why should you never be rude to a jump jockey? Then he says, “You know, I shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got…”, The bartender asks, “Why, what have you got?”, The horse replies, “About 2 dollars and a carrot.”. What did the mother horse say to her foal? We’re not horsing around, we just thought it would be neigh-bourly of us to bring you these funny horse jokes and puns! After the last fence he was leading easily but he pulled up way too early allowing two other horses to pass him. This funny collection of friendly and good jokes, riddles and puns about horse are clean and safe for children of all ages. READ MORE: 30 Animal Puns Purrrrfectly Suited to Quack You Up! These horse jokes are especially great for parents, horse lovers, teachers, cowboys, ranchers and farmers – but they are fun for everyone who enjoys cowboys, rodeo and horses. Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny horse jokes for kids of all ages, teens and adults who do not want to grow up. “Thank God!” I named my horse Mayo. Clean jokes for kids and people of all ages. He immediately goes to the stewards and complains that he has been seriously hampered. What kind of bread do horses like to eat? If you are on the same page then this complete collection of puns is exactly what you are looking for. What do you call a cow with no legs? Maybe later. Why did the farmer ride his horse to town? How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse? What kind of shoes does a spy wear? A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic toy horses stuck up his butt. Did you see the pony’s new boyfriend? Christmas Animal Jokes and Xmas Animal Puns (Because Merry Funny Animal Jokes and Deer-End Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream During the Holidays!) Enjoy these clean funny horse jokes. There are also horse puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Black Beauty… Now there’s a dark horse. Owl Jokes. The pastor explains, “To make the horse go, you gotta yell, ‘Thank God!’ And to make it stop, yell, ‘Hallelujah.’” The cowboy rides off. What’s the difference between praying in church and praying at the racetrack? A jockey is riding the favorite in a big horse race one day and is well ahead of the field. A list of puns related to "Horse Jokes" I would tell you a joke about a baby horse but, It's just aw-foal 👍︎ 18 💬︎ 0 comment 👤︎ u/Zaphpath 📅︎ Sep 22 2019 🚨︎ report. He somehow manages to keep control of his horse and pulls back into the lead once more, only to then be hit by a box of Christmas crackers and a dozen mince pies. The horse replies, “I don’t think I am,” and vanishes from existence. Collection of Best Horse Puns 1. Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about horse! They are in a stable relationship. What did one racehorse say to the other horse? Because he has bear feet. Do you remember when I went to the horse racing with my friends the other week. Did you hear about the horse with the negative attitude? Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? They can include a funny knee replacement joke, knee surgery jokes, bad knees' jokes, a broken knee joke, and even knee injury jokes. This time, despite all his best efforts, he can’t regain the lead and only manages to finish second. If you enjoyed these funny horse jokes and puns, make sure you check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more animal jokes, including these: Cat Jokes. Cat Name Generator; Dog Name Generator; 98 Chicken Puns: Egg-cellent, Compre-hen-sive & Comedi-hen Puns . The bartender says, “Hey.”. I wanted to tell a joke about a horse. Yo Mama So Stupid. Horse Jokes – 3. Share with us on Facebook! Either way, the horse appears in so many classic jokes and puns, almost 200 of them are right here in this collection for your enjoyment. How does the rain tie its shoe laces? Share. A racehorse owner takes his best horse to the vets and waits anxiously while the vet examines him. Aidas Ciziunas/Unsplash. ”Phew!” the cowboy sighs. This article was originally published in March 2016. Mayo neighs. The doorman says: “Wait you can’t come in here without a tie.”. He’s enjoying the film when he notices a horse sitting next to him. I have this terrible sore throat.”. Horse Jokes: Hay, it's a stable supply of horse puns, donkey jokes, horsey equine jokes, burro puns, ass humor and lots of horsing around. What do you call a horse that lives next door to you? What do you call a cow that just had a baby? Hoping to buy the horse, the guy stopped and offered the farmer $500 for it. And you’ll probably beat him too.”. Amber King. Think you’ve heard them all? I put a bet on a horse that had excellent breeding. After the race the jockey was so mad with what he’d done, that he stuck a pin in the horse, then he stuck a pin in the trainer and then the owner. Leading easily after the last he pulls up too early and two horse go past him. His business kept falling off! 2. A talking horse walks into a bar one day. How does a cowboy get a stallion to do odd jobs around the ranch? He goes up to the manager and asks him, “Excuse me, good sir, are you hiring?”, The manager is surprised to see a talking horse and he looks him up and down before saying, “Sorry, we’re not hiring. Because they lactose! Horses ride him. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? No wonder we chose this subject as this our next Joke and Pun Collection! You’re riding a horse full speed, there’s. Great for all ages and humors. Knee jokes can be divided into a wide range of categories. What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? Using all his ability, he manages to steer his horse back into the lead as he goes over the last fence and into the run-in. The pun-thouse! Horses; Birds; Fish; Other Animals. Recently bought a shire horse. It was easy to understand why the horse went so lame early, he was out of the gait first. When the bartender serves them to him, he quickly downs them all. A horse walks into a triangular bar of dimensions X,Y, and Z, where X and Z are perpendicular. It was his first time over the jumps. Why was the horse spontaneous? He orders a glass of the most expensive champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. Perhaps because it's a big part of the farmer's animal helpers, or maybe because it's such a beautiful animal that, until recently, was our main means of transportation. Warning: Sleigh On At Your Own Peril! The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck. What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds? I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1 and it did! Loser-esque yet hilarious, unbearably foolish yet clever at the same time - puns will never get boring, even if they'd be the last jokes left on Earth. Why do most horses look so fit? Funny Horse Jokes. ADVERTISEMENT. Book . Marylou was the name of the horse I was backing.”. So enjoy this collection of funny horse jokes. A pantomime horse walks into a bar. I asked, “What do they raise there? by Deirdre Kaye. Rude deer humor, Xmas critter jokes, and jolly sandy claws puns … The doctor described his condition as stable. He was a stud! That’s because there’s no night-mare jokes here. The horse is a staple in most animal tales. What did the horse say when it fell down? What type of computer does a horse like to eat? Reindeer Jokes, Santa Paws Puns, Holiday Humor Unwrap festive Christmas critter humor, pet Xmas jokes, wild ho hos and rude reindeer puns. A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint. The Stewards said to him, “You’re a disgrace. His wife says, “Your horse just called.”. Searching his. Why do cowboys like to ride horses? We were at a restaurant today and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Who the hell is she?”, The guy says, “Oh, don’t worry about that dear. 85 Jokes and Puns: House Edited By: Shai K. Share. Not only did you let the horse, the trainer and the owner down, you have let yourself down too.”. And if you do, be sure to take a look at the rest of our animal jokes too. He was a cow-herd. A night mare. The following horse puns are perfect for that inner equestrian in you. With a rainbow. Dog Jokes. A horse walks into a bar. The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. Because of this he was called in front of the Stewards. A guy is sat quietly reading his Sunday newspaper one day when his wife suddenly hits him over the head with a frying pan. We use cookies to collect information from your browser to personalize content and perform site analytics. On occasion, we also use cookies to collect information from our toddlers, but that’s a totally different thing. You won’t find any jokes or puns about horse racing, knackeries, whipping or idioms based around topics like these (e.g. Two horses are standing in a field. The horse dragged me along and didn’t stop. After the race the jockey was so mad he stuck a pin in the horse, then he … Horse Jokes – 5. Privacy Policy. When he was facing them, he stuck a pin in himself. A white horse walks into a pub one day and asks the bartender for a whisky. … Welcome to Jokes for Us. Two horses I know have been an item for ages. By David Woods on June 14, 2019 in Other. Friend: Why did you call him that, he’s not even a white horse? Satisfied, his wife returns to the laundry but a few minutes later she comes running back into the room and hits her husband over the head with the frying pan again. Well, hold your horses because you’re about to be in for a wild ride. Many of the tennis volleyball jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. ADVERTISEMENT. Cow Jokes. Horse puns and jokes are always a bit fun, even if they are hoarse at times. Which animal sleeps with its shoes on? Somewhat surprised to say the least, he asks, “Are you a horse?”, The guy says, “What are you doing at the movies?”, The horse says, “Well, I liked the book.”. Because they're too heavy to carry. Neigh! Snake; Lizard; Chicken; Bunny; Top Lists. The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but can’t make him drink. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?”. Decalfinated. Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? What does a horse say when you don’t give them enough hey? 2. Thoroughbred. The guy now really wanted the horse and so increased his offer to $1,500. What type of horses only go out at night? He rides all day and starts to nod off in the saddle when he notices he is about to ride straight over a cliff. He shouted at the farmer, “Hey, you cheated me! My horse is a rubbish dancer. A cowboy buys a horse from the town pastor. My existing horse was too outgoing. Why was the cow afraid? Fish And Fishing Jokes. More Funny Animal Jokes. Chuck Norris doesn’t ride horses. If you don’t think so, you won’t disagree furlong once you run them pasture eyes. The farmer said, “Sorry, he’s not for sale. “Beating a dead horse”). Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. November 16, … September 28, 2020 Updated January 21, 2021. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate. A horse walks into a bar. He’s got a bandage around his head and looks really ill. His wife says, “I was just doing the laundry and I found a piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name “Marylou on it. What happened to the man who owned a riding academy? Because they're on a stable diet. Currently, there are already more than 600 jokes on the site, including over 160 jokes for kids. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” says the first. Funny horse jokes, puns, and riddles. What kind of horse do you ride after dark? Here are funny horse jokes and puns. Me: This is my horse, Mayo. Hallelujah!” The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff. It came in so late they had to pay the jockey overtime. An inflatable jockey was riding an inflatable horse for an inflatable trainer and an inflatable owner. Visit our Privacy Policy for more info. Horse Jokes Puns. So about a year ago, I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere, the horse tried to flip me off it. List Of 75+ Horse Puns and Jokes Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball? Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. What do you call a horse that likes to stay up late? A pony went to the doctor and said, “Doc, I think I’m dying. Horse Jokes and Puns. Do you sell any grapes? Energizer bunny. All rights reserved. But we think that a good pun is always worth a good laugh. SHARE. Why don’t you try the circus?”, The horse says, “Why would the circus need a bartender?”. If you enjoyed these funny horse jokes and puns, make sure you check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more animal jokes, including these: © 2021 LaffGaff.com. 2.When you hear gossip about a horse, you are basically listening to a neigh-sayer He always did things in the spur of the moment! Doctors described his condition as stable. The barman says “would you like a pint?” The horse says, “no, two halves”. Entertainment 15+ Popular Stores You Didn't Know Were Dog Friendly. If the idea of chicken puns beaks your interest, then you’ve come to the right place. Read more funny horse puns below… You might also be interested in: Credit: Alamy Stock Photo 15 great (or awful) horsey jokes to hopefully put a smile on your face. Mayo: [neighs] What did the horse say when it fell down? recommended for you. He says, “Doc, you’ve got to help me. A Most Impressive Horse A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, “Talking Horse for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks up … thumb_up 1. Sea horses?”. What’s black and white and eats like a horse? 100 years ago everyone owned horses and only the rich drove cars. I think he’s got two left feet. These days everyone drives cars and only the rich own horses. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth? Puns about knees and jokes about knees have both evolved with time. An inflatable jockey was riding an inflatable horse for an inflatable trainer and an inflatable owner, for the first time over the jumps. “Help, I’ve fallen, and I can’t giddy up!” How do you hire a horse? Within minutes of the news breaking online, Twitter saw an explosion of horse-related jokes and puns. What’s black and white and eats like a horse? The hashtags #horsemeat and #horsepun immediately became trending topics around the world. How come Winnie-the-Pooh doesn't wear shoes? Searching his memory, he yells to the horse, “Hallelujah! Fly Jokes. Two horses are standing in a field. The farmer said, “Well, he doesn’t look so good but if you want him that much he’s yours.”. Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison. A horse stopped right in the middle of the road because someone shouted “Hay”! Giddy up and share these hilarious horse puns with your friends! Do you know any horse-related puns or horse jokes? Do you know why the horse stalls at a racetrack are labelled A, B, D, E, and F? What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth? I fell off and I would have been OK but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. These horse puns can also help inspire you to make new jokes of your own. Welcome to jokes-for-us.com, the website with the best jokes, puns and riddles on the internet. Luckily for us, giraffes don’t know we’re joking at their expense. Giraffes are goofy-looking animals, right? Once the vet has finished, the owner asks him, “Will I be able to race him again?”, The vet replies, “Of course! You’ll find the best horse jokes, including colt jokes, mare jokes, foal jokes, race horse jokes and more. What did the mare tell her filly after dinner? The bartender says: “Hey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.”. A horse walks into a bar. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?”. You sold me a blind horse!”, The farmer calmly said, “I told you he didn’t look too good, didn’t I?”. These jokes about horses will make you and kids laugh. Tell you what, I’ll give you $1,000 for him.”, The farmer again said, “Sorry, he’s not for sale. What’s the difference between a horse and the weather?